Acceptance.
This is my new beautiful mantra of the month because I now have a deep awareness of the previous version of me and the old patterns I had of rejecting, suppressing and avoiding in my life.
I used to avoid and stuff my own intuitions and true beliefs about myself. I used to reject my own innate wisdom to rest and listen to my body. I used to avoid saying NO to others. I used to people please to where it was probably so uncomfortable to the other person or people involved. I used to suppress my own feelings and wallow in self-misery with all sorts of distractions, substances or activities. I used to avoid uncomfortable situations, conversations and people. I used to reject my own simple pleasures by avoiding the very things that brought me joy. I was a walking and slightly functioning high anxiety, strung out nervous wreck.
All of these beliefs and behaviors were not only causing me MORE misery and pain, it was stunting my growth as a human, a mom, a creator, a business owner and as a woman. It was stunting my intellect. I was perpetuating the patterns to my children and it was being reflected right back to me through THEIR thoughts and behaviors too.
As a woman that IS highly sensitive, empathetic and intuitive I could see what was happening around me, but I didn’t have the tools on how to ACCEPT things as they were and FEEL the emotions that came up for me AND then go on to make decisions that were serving me and the people around me. All I knew at the time was to put myself last and do everything I could to avoid pain. All I knew at the time was to avoid discomfort. All I knew at the time was to give my power away and be the victim to my circumstances. All I knew was that I wanted to help people, but didn’t even know how to help myself in a way that would make a deep impact.
I look back on all the years in my past and wonder, why did it even come to that?
Life does not come with a manual. Of course not!
It did not give me an upbringing with parents that were highly skilled in psychology or emotional intelligence either. And I am not pointing blame at all to those circumstances because collectively as a society most of us did not either. Most of us have been disadvantaged largely to NOT have the tools to strengthen our own intuition and innate wisdom!
It was not mainstream to talk about emotions, or to talk about energy or to talk about feelings. It was actually quite the opposite. Unless you were in pre-k or kindergarten there were not a lot of highlight teachings about emotions or feelings or even authenticity for that matter.
So for me wanting to be authentic meant being very uncomfortable and not knowing how to deal with the uncomfortability. It meant standing out. It meant being alone. It meant that because my thoughts or way of thinking was different meant I was not part of a team or social groups. I labeled myself as not accepted because I was so called different. At the time I didn’t know any different; I wanted to fit it because it was uncomfortable standing out. I didn’t have an entrepreneurial social group or anyone teaching authenticity in my life.
So I learned to fit in. I learned to make myself less. I learned to make myself small. I learned how to not speak my truth. I learned to be "shy" or quiet. I learned to not put myself in uncomfortable situations. I learned not to share my ideas. I would only share ideas with certain people that I knew loved me no matter what.
What a fucking disservice to myself, my soul and to the almighty creator and all the ancestors and spirit guides supporting me here on this earth.
What I know now, having lived many years thinking and feeling that way, was that it was much harder and hurtful to live this way than to actually follow my truths and intuition. It’s so much harder to continually stuff your emotions and avoid your true soul feelings. It causes much more damage to your nervous system to suppress and avoid them than to accept and walk through your true desired thoughts and feelings.
I know now that tapping into how I truly want to feel is where my truth is. How I feel is a direct reflection of what I’m thinking. It’s a direct reflection of what surrounds me. It’s a direct reflection of my actions that I’m taking every moment and everyday. The previous version of me was taking action to prevent uncomfortability. The previous version of me was not accepting the circumstances and reality that I lived and was currently living. The previous version of me was avoiding the feelings rather than using them to my advantage. Because the truth is, feelings are just messengers. Feelings are just information and if you’re curious enough to view it that way you’re able to move and take actions that actually help and serve you rather than leave you stuck in wallowing emotions and feelings. The body is always listening to you and how you respond so if you’re avoiding, suppressing or wallowing in emotions all it does is send messages back to your body to hold onto those emotions and store it in the body.
Think of your emotions like a backpack. If you continue to store them in your backpack, the backpack begins to gain more weight, it starts to feel heavier and that is exactly what happens energetically in the body. You feel more weight (physically and emotionally), you feel heavier in your emotions and your daily tasks begin to feel heavier and heavier and it gets harder and harder to move through tasks. And then as time goes on those emotions actually start to manifest physically in the body through pain or disease (dis-ease). Maybe it’s pain in your back, maybe it’s pain in your shoulder or neck, maybe it’s period pain (PMS) or maybe the pain shows up as an autoimmune disease. For me, my stuck emotions showed up as pain in my neck and shoulder area, pain in my hips, PMS, pain in my gut, and even pain on my skin through eczema and cysts.
You see, the MIND, BODY and SOUL are all connected. How you think and what you believe affects all areas. What you eat and how you move your body affects all areas. And the most important, how you are living out your desires and soul’s purpose and your truths is the biggest ripple effect of them all because that comes from your heart center which is the largest energy source of the body.
If you’re ready to uplevel your whole body wellness, learn the tools to D R E A M, BELIEVE, HEAL and TRANSFORM into the woman that lives out her desires, I invite you to message me about my 1:1 coaching program. A 1:1 coaching experience will give you the transformation of a lifetime. It will give you that push to move into action. It will show the Universe just how much you VALUE your desires and VALUE to life you want to live. It will give you, YOUR DESIRED REALITY and of course YOUR DESIRED DESTINY.
If you ever want to reach out to me or connect with me more please send me an e-mail or visit me on any of the social links and DM me. I love hearing from you!
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